Neko's love
by InsainePandas
Summary: The title explains it all...but three naruto fans fall into the naruto world...ones a neko..Itachi/OC Tobi/OC Hidan/OC. Complete and total randomness, not to be taken too seriously. At all. (Finally Updated after three years!)
1. Chapter 1 Headaches

**A/N: i own nothing.**

Chapter One: Headaches

Alice's P.O.V

"Alice!"

I ignored the voice and continued walking. Besides, it wasn't as if the voice was a person. No, the voice came from my head. Yeah, crazy, right? Well, I wasn't. That much anyway.

"ALICE!" The voice screamed and then the girl across the street got hit by a car.

_Shit, no__t again. Maybe I should stop ignoring the voice._

Then again, even worse things happened when I did.

I know I'm not making sense, I hardly do, but the truth is that I hear things I shouldn't. Hear things that aren't said, things from the past, things from the dead. I could hear the thoughts of those around me. I've always had it along with this unnatural ability to be faster than the speed of light. Long story short: It sucked.

I kept walking, hoping to ignore the people who weren't really there across the street.

Once I opened the front door of my house, and walked in, the voices in my head ceased. It was always like that. Creepy, if you ask me. It was like my house had a _power_ to it. Or something. I donno.

I threw my backpack down and climbed up the stairs, slamming the door shut as I walked in my room.

I laid on my stomach on my bed, and just sat there until: "Get your punk ass up, you MoFo!"

Damn my best friend!

"You have three seconds to get the hell out before I slam your head into the wall," I said, my voice muffled by the pillow.

"Psh! As if!"

Then she rolled me over and over until I fell of the bed.

Little….

I sat up as Keko grinned at me.

Bitch.

She was wearing cat ears and a tail, her purple hair was in pigtails and she was cosplaying as Sasori; her favorite Akatsuki member.

"What the fuck, Keko?"

I stood up, and went up to her.

"The convention, you dumbass!" she screamed.

_Oh, right. Damn my memory._

"I forgot," I said, stretching like a Neko.

"Dumbass! Good thing I didn't. I even got your costume."

I frowned. She knew I never cosplayed.

"You know I don't cosplay. Or did your all superior memory forget?"

I stepped around her, but she blocked me.

"Well, you are this year." She smiled wickedly.

_Shit…_

-.-

She made me wear a freaking neko/magical girl costume! .

I'm not sure where it's from, but I didn't really care. I just wanted out Goddamnit!

"Ohff!" I tripped over the stupid outfit and fell forward, crashing into a stand of manga.

"Damnit!" I cursed, standing back up.

"Nice one, Hinamori. Trying out for the Klutz Olympics this year?" Sara Ichinomiya, the enemy of me and Keko since third grade, asked.

We turned around.

"Better than the Sluts category. Right, Keko?"

"For sure." And then her purple eyes blazed. "This year you're going down!" She let out a weird battle cry as she and Sara went all out in a DDR competition.

Sometimes I really do wander why I'm her friend. -.-'

I looked down at the manga I had just knocked down. I noticed a Naruto one (my fav!) and picked it.

_Damn, it's all in Japanese. High school language teachers don't teach you shit! I barely know any of this!_

But, then, the book started glowing as I turned it to a page with Itachi and Kisame on it.

"Uh, Keko, Sara, sorry to interrupt you DDR but you might want to look at this," I said, nervously.

They stopped instantly and rushed over.

"What the fuck?" Sara said, noticing the manga before Keko shouted: "Holy fruitcake! Why's your manga glowing?"

But, I didn't have time to reply because the book exploded, sending the three of us spiraling down a black vortex.

.

"Ohhh, Deidara-sempai, look what I found!"

"What, Tobi, un?"

"Un, my head," I groaned.

"Oh my Jashin, she's alive!"

_Would you shut up already, you stupid voices! _

Only then did I realize that they were outside my head.

I slowly opened my eyes, and screamed my fucking head off.

Because hovering two inches from my face was Tobi. The Tobi! And yes, I am an otaku, if you haven't noticed by now!

He screamed back, scrambling away from me.

I giggled.

_He's just like I imagined._

"Eh, sorry for scaring you, but you should know better to stand that close to someone. Personal space, you lollipop!" I said, and wacked him upside the head.

"Tobi's not a lollipop!"

"Then why do you where a mask like one?"

"I don't know."

All the while a certain blonde was waiting impatiently next to me.

"What's your name?" Tobi asked.

"Alice. And-ohmygod- you're Deidara-sempai!" I shouted, jumping up and facing him.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, and just so you know I think your way of art is better than Sasori-danna's."

_Damn, I could be such a fangirl._

"Really? But, wait, how do you know about us, un?" he asked suspiciously.

"Uh, cause of this!" I exclaimed, pulling out a Naruto manga from my pocket.

_Might as _well_ tell them. Be easier this way, anyway._

Tobi snatched it from me, and flipped through it.

"You're in here, Deidara-sempai! And Tobi, too!"

Deidara took it from him, looking through it as well.

"What…? Where…" He was at a loss of words so I said, "Just take me to Pein-sama! He's the only one who really needs to know."

"Whatever you say, neko." He shrugged and turned the other way.

_Neko…?_

"Why did he just call me neko?" I asked Tobi as we made are way to the clay bird that Deidara just created.

"Because you have cat ears and a tail, silly."

_Nani?_

I reached up with my hand, and felt the top of my head. There were two soft, fluffy things attached to my head.

_Cat ears!_

I glanced down and behind me to find….

_A black cat tail!_

_Holy shitake mushrooms, I was a bloody neko!_

And I though these headaches were bad enough…..


	2. Chapter 2 Misguidedfor now anyway

**A/N:I had no plans of updating this, but after seeing how many people seemed to like this story, well, it inspired me to update. :)**

**Disclaimer: I own only Alice, Keko, Sara, and part of the plot.**

**Chapter two: Misguided**

Keko's P.O.V

Something was poking me in the stomach, hard enough that it hurt. Then the annoying voice of my enemy said, "Hey, wake up already!" Or, she more like screamed in my ear. I opened my eyes, glaring as Sara moved away.

"Where the hell are we?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Why are you asking me that?"

"You're the smart one, remember?"

Again, I rolled my eyes. "Just shut up and help me up."

She didn't, though I wasn't surprised. So I hauled myself up and took a look around. We were in a desert. A freaking dried out plane of sand. And it was hot, _really_ hot. Urgh, how I hated the heat…

"Well, we're in a desert," I said, standing up.

This time it was her who rolled her eyes. "No shit, Sherlock. But how? And where's Alice?"

She had a point; and as I looked around, I noticed I didn't see Alice anywhere. "I mean, wasn't she with us when we fell down that…whatever it was?" Sara said.

I scratched the back of my head. "Yea, I think so. Maybe she landed somewhere else. She did fall through first."

She was about to say something when something small, but with extreme force, slammed into me, knocking me unconscious.

...

When I woke up, everything was…white. And blinding. Especially blinding.

And then Alice's pale face came into view. I screamed. Alice's blue eyes widened and her glasses nearly slipped off her face, before she smacked me upside the head.

"What is wrong with you?" she asked.

"It was a dream then!" I shouted.

"What was?" Her eyebrows rose.

"Sara and I getting transported to the desert!"

Alice sweatdropped. "No, Keko, it wasn't."

"Wait, so where am I?"

Alice turned to the side, so I could see, and pointed to the man behind her.

"Hi!" he said, waving enthusiastically. It was…Tobi! Holy…

"Where, well, it's kinda obvious by no, isn't it?" Alice said.

Shit…

"We're…"

Alice nodded. "Yup."

Then I noticed someone was missing. "Wait, where's Sara?"

"Right here, dumbass." I turned my head and saw the blonde leaning against the wall. She rolled her sapphire eyes at me. "Geez, ADD, much?"

"Shut up," I snarled. "You know you're just as glad to be here as we are, Ichinomiya." Sara was a bigger fan of Naruto-a specific white-haired jashinist to be exact- than Alice and I were sometimes. And Alice was a pretty big Otaku sometimes. Especially when involving Itachi and Deidara.

"Whatever, Bellware. What I wanna know is how are we _not_ dead?"

"Oh, well I was going to tell you that as soon as Keko woke up," said Alice, pushing up her glasses, "See, I made Tobi and Deidara-sempai bring me to Pein. I had this," she pulled out a Naruto manga from somewhere, "and I explained to them about this. And then when I went to Pein, I told him about us. You know, our gifts and such?" The black cat ears above her head twitched and I saw her black tail swish back and forth. It took me a few seconds to realize that I was _not_ hallucinating and that they were, in fact, real.

"Holy shit, Alice, you're a neko!" I screeched.

Sara rolled her eyes again. "Well, no duh."

Alice blushed slightly. "Yeah, I was like that when I first came. Anyway, like I was saying. The three of us will be staying here until we can find a way to go back home."

"Who would want to go back home from this?" I asked.

"Well, unlike you two idiots, I have actual _important _things to do," Sara scoffed.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, because maintaining your reputation as a slut is soo important."

"Hey, you little…"

"Well, it's true…"

And thus began our bickering. Vaguely, I heard Tobi ask in a scared little voice, "Are they always like this?" And Alice answered, "Yup. You'll get used to it eventually."

And then, before I knew it, hands were wrapped around my waist, and I was being pulled away from Sara. (We had advanced toward each other with each insult thrown) "Tobi doesn't like it when friends fight!" yelled a voice right behind me. Oh, so Tobi was holding onto me. I felt a blush make its way up my face. _That's embarrassing. _

"Alright, now that that's over, should we show them their rooms, Tobi?" Alice asked.

"Okay, Alice-chan!" ^.^ Letting me go, Tobi bonded over to a door that I hadn't noticed before. Maybe Sara was right….I do have ADD.

"Let's go!" Tobi grabbed my hand and dragged me along, out the room, and into a dimly lit hallway. "Keko-chan, you'll be rooming with me!" he exclaimed.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, there aren't enough rooms so we all have to share," Alice explained.

"Then who are you rooming with?"

"Deidara-sempai," she answered cheerfully. I knew she'd be happy with that.

"What about me?" Sara asked.

"Oh, well, Hidan," Alice mumbled.

"What? Really? Oh, my god, that's AWESOME!"

See? Sara was such a fangirl sometimes.

Alice covered her ears-her cat ones-cause Sara was screaming right into her ears. Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

"Oww, I knew I shouldn't have been standing next to her," Alice mumbled, rubbing her ears.

"Okay, well, that's cool, I guess," I told Tobi, though I was happy with my roommate. Sasori may have been my favorite, but I'd always had a soft spot for the lollipop. Even if he wasn't always such a lollipop.

"Okay!" And then Tobi dragged me away, leaving Alice and Sara in the dust.


	3. Chapter 3 Blood stainsand so does Fru

**A/N: Kinda short, but I wasn't so sure about this chapter...Hmm, anyway, I havent a clue what to do next, so it may be a while till I update...Unless I get some help from you lovely readers?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Jumper, only Sara, Keko, and Alice**

**Chapter three: Blood stains…And so does Fruit Punch**

Sara's P.o.v

It sucked that I was stuck with these two brainless dolts, but if I got to spend my time with Hidan-sama, then all was good! Ah! Hmm, maybe Keko was right for once in her pointless life. Maybe I was more of a fangirl then her and Alice?

Nah, couldn't be. I was the pretty, popular one, not the crazy fangirl.

Alice led me down the hall, turning to the left only once until she came to a stop. I still found it freaky she was secretly a neko and only found out when she came here. I just found cats freaky in general…urgh.

"Here ya go, suite de crazy religious freak," she deadpanned.

I scoffed. "At least I don't like a he-she," I said before opening the door.

Alice just rolled her eyes. "Least he won't sacrifice me in my sleep," she mumbled as she headed off down the hall.

Hmmm, she did have a point…nah, that wouldn't happen. Waving it off, I entered the room-only to be splattered with blood. It soaked through my t-shirt, staining the white fabric for sure. Damn, if I'd known this was gonna happened, I would've worn black. Sighing, I decided I'd deal with it later, and I walked into the room.

Hidan was, as I thought, preforming one of his rituals in the middle of the floor. He was even staining the carpet…I bet I'm the one who has to clean that. -.-

He glanced up at me, smirking. "Scared of a little blood, newbie?"

"No, but I always did wander how your religion worked." Alice had told me on the way here that the ones we were rooming with would know about our…unique situation to make things easier for us.

What I said seemed to have sparked something. He ripped out those pointy, sharp, whatever they were-you know, those black metal things he uses? Yeah, well, anyway, he ripped those things out, and looked at me.

"Really? You're a jashinist?"

_I will if you want me to be, _I thought. Out loud, I said, "Well, I'm interested in it, but I don't know much about it. Could ya teach me?" I smiled at him.

"Sure!"

…

As I thought, I did have to clean the room. And Hidan didn't help me at all! He just sat there, cleaning off his scythe. Oh, he'll clean that but not our damn room! Wait…Grr…I sound like a nagging wife. I'm just gonna shut up now. Still, he could've help…at least a little. Just so you know, I hated cleaning! I mean, there was a reason I had a maid! I wasn't meant for cleaning…shopping on the other hand, I could do that real well. But cleaning was not my strong point. For one, this stupid blood just wouldn't come out! I knew blood stained, I wasn't an idiot, but my god, why won't it come out! I've tried everything, from extremely strong cleaners to siphoning it away with my air bending skills. Did I forget to mention I could do that? I guess I did. Well, that was what Alice was talking about when she said, gifts, or whatever. I could control wind; Alice was telepathic and that whole faster than light thing (Must be cause she's as neko) and that stupid purpled haired Keko was telekinetic and could teleport, like that movie _Jumper?_ I think.

Anyway, as I was saying: STUPID STAIN WOULDN'T COME OUT! I would have asked Hidan-clearly he's done this before as there were no other blood stains on the carpet- but…well, actually I did. And he told me: "Oh, I don't do the fucking cleaning; I make that swirly lollipop do it."

Swirly lollipop, huh? Must be Tobi. So, after that, I opened the door, and hollered out, "TOBI, GET IN HERE!" since I knew that his room was somewhere done this hall.

A minute later, the lollipop came rushing in. "What does Sara-chan want from Tobi?"

"How do you clean this!" I exclaimed, pointing to the bloody carpet.

He walked in, closer to the stain…Only he tripped over one of the cleaning products I'd tried using. And he was holding a cup of Fruit Punch. And he fell. And the Fruit Punch flew from his hand. The red liquid splashed to the floor, staining another spot of carpet blood red. Blood stains….and so does Fruit Punch.

T.T I give up.


	4. Chapter 4 Ghost cat

**A/N: It's short, I know, but its something I guess. Enjoy :) Virtual cookies for those who review!**

Chapter four: Ghost Cat

Being telepathic isn't the greatest thing in the world. But first, let me explain to you exactly what I mean by "telepath."

First thing you need to know: I do not hear people's thoughts. I'm sure this is possible, I just can't do it. I could sometimes sense what they were thinking, a feeling really of what they were about to say, but nothing more. Of the living anyway.

The voices I did hear were real, just not alive. Yes, I said it; I hear the dead, or more like their soul moments before death. It could be repetitive: sounds, screams, shouts, whatever, it happened again and again. I was lucky it only happened in the spot they died, that I wasn't haunted by the dead's cries everywhere I went. Unlucky, too, because I could see them, not always just when the soul's anguish was so great it quite literally showed itself to me, though at that point just about anyone could see if they squinted hard enough.

Like how Tobi did, when I was told to go a...mission, I guess, involving him and a cat. And by cat, I didn't mean me.

My "mission" was, well, to "save" Tobi from a cat. I think, I was laughing too hard when Pein told me what Tobi had done. He'd been outside, when he saw this little orange kitty, see, and well, by gosh, he just decided right then and there he wanted this cat to keep as a pet or something.

So the first thing that came to mind was Tobi stalking this cat, dashing from tree to tree, bush to bush, till he finally found an opening and pounced.

And maybe this cat was fussy and began attacking him, and that was why I had to "save" him.

It wasn't.

The ferocious tabby had literally chased the orange lollipop up a tree, the tree I was currently standing under.

The cat's paws were attacking the tree, trying to find a soft spot in the bark to sink its claws in. Only, as I inched farther toward it, it didn't have any claws which i thought was odd. Why would a wild cat be declawed? It didn't make much sense, but then maybe the cat had wandered over from the closest village-where ever that was-or something.

"Tobi," I called, "why are you hiding in a tree?" The answer was obvious, I know, but I had to make sure.

"That kitty chased me up here; he's not very nice!" Tobi answered, clinging to a branch.

_Of course_. I rolled my eyes.

"Save me, Alice-chan!"

"They call this a mission?" I muttered as I walked to the cat. I'd never been much of a cat person, but now that I was one, I figured it would be a good time to start.

Should I call out to the cat? I wondered. Something like, here kitty, kitty? Or was that too clichéd? Hmm, how to approach angry kitty?

Like I said, I wasn't sure, so I dropped down to my knees a few feet from it. And I called out: "Here kitty, kitty."

Original? No. Effective? Yes.

The cat turned to face me, and sniffed the air. It seemed to realize there was another cat around, I guess, so it padded up to me "Good kitty." And I went to picked it up-and my hand went straight through it.

I blinked, hand still frozen somewhere between a ghostly cat and the air. What the hell? A cat, that was a ghost? I never even knew they could exsist. I mean, I know animals die and that they probably go to Heaven or the afterlife or wherever, I'd just never seen one before.

Thud.

I started. I turned and saw Tobi flat on his face in the dirt, his rear end sticking straight up in the air. It would have been funny if I hadn't been so shocked. I'd never seen a ghost-human or not- that wasn't reliving it's death before.

"That's a ghost cat!" screamed Tobi, jumping to his feet suddenly.

"Yeah, sure is," I mumbled, still not sure how this was all possible.

Luckily, I wasn't the only one questioning what I thought my powers were.


	5. Chapter 5 Keko's first mission

**A/N: Well, hi. It's been a long ass time, hasn't it? Yep, no excuses there, besides lack of motivation and ideas for this story. But now I think I might know where I'm taking this. Well, maybe. Suggestions are highly welcome. I will literally take anything you lovely readers can give me. Thanks! And, enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but Keko, Alice, and Sara. **

* * *

><p>CHAPTER FIVE: KEKO'S FIRST MISSION(What could possibly go wrong?)<p>

Keko's P.O.V

"Whhhaaaatttt!? Oh. My. Jashin! Yes! This is probably the fucking coolest thing evveerr!" I was screaming my fucking head off-and you wanna know why?

"I'm going on a mission, I'm going on a mission," I sang, doing my happy dance, which was a series of arm flailing and bunny hops.

"Would you shut up, un!" Deidara snapped, glaring at me. "You're almost as annoying as Tobi!"

"Deidara-senpai, that's mean," I whined. "He's _way _more annoying than me! And how can I not be excited? This is my first mission! With the great and super talented Deidara-sama!" I added this last bit as a suck up tactic I'd learned from Sara over the years. The chick was such a kiss-ass, but the method was surprisingly effective.

"Well…fine, whatever," Deidara mumbled, turning away. "Let's just go, un."

_Success! _Grinning, I latched myself onto Tobi's arm, and then threaded my free on through Deidara's left arm. "Where we headed?" I refused to let the two s-class criminals go, so we walked through the forest, arm in arm, like that scene in the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. The lollipop didn't seem to mind, but blondie over here struggled to release himself from my hold. _Nuh-huh, blondie! I'm a class A fangirl; we have grips stronger than a grown ass mans. _

"Takeda Town," Deidara said grumpily, yanking hard on his arm.

"Gnawing it off might be faster, ya know," I pointed out. "Not like you haven't lost an arm or two before!"

He looked like he was close to seriously considering the suggestion.

"Any hoists," I said, "what's the place look like? And what are we doing there anyway?"

"Weren't you listening to Leader-sama? God, you're as useless as Tobi, un!" he snarled.

I pouted. "Aww, you're such a meanie, Deidara-senpai! All I'm trying to do is be nice to you," I cried, "And…and here you are, calling me names." I broke out the water-works, much to Deidara's horror.

"Deidara-senpai!" Tobi scolded, pulling me into a comforting hug. "Don't make Keko-chan cry! Apologize."

A silence before: "Sorry." Only the blonde mumbled and didn't sound _that _sorry.

_Success! _I thought, my 'tears' as gone as quickly as they'd come, and I did that move Tazuna did after guilt tripping Kakashi into helping him. You know, the little off-to-the-camera peace sign thing?

_Damn, tears are the best weapon ever!_

"It's okay, Deidara-senpai!" I said, linking arms with him again. "But, seriously, what's the town like? I can teleport, ya know. And I just figured that it'd be easier to travel like that. I just need to know what the place looks like first."

"That would save time, un," he said, seeming in thought. "It's just like any other town, though." He shrugged.

"Any signs or specific thing that lets it stand out from the rest?"

"Ooh, Tobi's been there before! There's this biiggg sign right before entering."

"That I can work with." Though I didn't know what the sign may have looked like exactly—how hard could it be? Most signs all looked alike to me. And although I'd never teleported more than one person before…well, couldn't be _that _hard, could it? _Guess we'll find out._

"Hold on, guys!" I called, before tightening my grip on both men. I pictured what I thought was an accurate depiction of a typical Naruto town sign—and with a great bang! we were off.

Teleported was painful if you didn't do it right. Or if you weren't used to it. Or if you couldn't handle roller-coasters. Or….well, I could go on—the list is pretty fucking big—but anyway, it's kind like you're being split into several different pieces, and then those same pieces are rearranging themselves as they travel through space and time, and then once you're where you wanna be, you're put back together. So ya know, you can see how it'd been pretty damn painful.

I was already used to the sensation, having been able to teleport since I was a child—but the two s-class criminals? Yeah, not so much.

"What the hell was that, un!?" Deidara shouted as we landed, rather roughly.

The world was spinning and I was seeing nothing but stars. Okay, point taken. Never take more than one person with you. "Can't…too dizzy," I mumbled, stumbling around in circles before finally bumping into Tobi. Tripping, I should really say, because the guy was currently spread eagle on the ground. "Woops," I said, sprawling onto the dirt beside him.

The sky was a brilliant shade of blue and I kept seeing different shapes in the clouds. "Ooh, look at that one, Tobi," I said, pointing to the sky. "It's a bunny!"

"You're right, Keko-chan. And that one's a kitty, like Alice-chan!" he said. Both of us were oblivious to the seething blonde, until a shadow passed over us, taking the form of Deidara's angry glare. I screamed bloody murder.

"Don't scare us like that, Deidara-senpai!" I screeched before the artist reached down. He snatched the front of my shirt, hauling me to my feet.

"Shut up!" he snarled. "What did you do, huh?!"

"Ah, Deidara-senpai! Don't be mean to Keko-chan!" Tobi shouted, jumping to his feet. "You're gonna make her cry again."

As if that were my cue, my eyes started to water. Deidara scowled and dropped me to the ground. "I told you, I can teleport! That's what that was," I explaining, using Tobi as leverage to pull myself us. "I guess I forgot to warn you it can be a bit…rough the first time." I shrugged. "My bad."

Still scowling, he stalked forward, leaving Tobi and me in the dust as he passed a large sign that announced: Welcome to Takeda Town!

_Yata! It worked! _For a second there, I wasn't sure, but damn, I'm more awesome than I thought.

"What's the mission, again?" I whispered to Tobi as we trailed behind Deidara.

"Information collecting! Leader-sama wants something from some nobleman in this town, and we're supposed to get it," Tobi explained.

"Ah. Cool. So what am I doing here?"

Tobi shrugged. "Tobi doesn't know. But Keko-chan must be useful for something!"

.

Turns out, the only 'useful' thing I was good for was stirring up trouble.

Deidara decided that it would be better if I "stay here and shut up" so I was stuck, dragging my feet in the dirt, outside the targets' house. Of course, a girl who may or may not have and some form of ADD couldn't sit still for long.

"My fucking gods, this is boring!" I screamed to the sky, startling several birds and people who were walking past. "No way in Anime hell am I just going to sit around like a useless fangirl on a mission like this. I am not a useless heroine! I'm like that one badass chick in that one book I can't remember the name of—but I know she was badass!"

Turning to the house, I decided I was going to get in there one way or another. There was a pretty high fence surrounding the place, but there was this huge ass tree, with branches that leaned over the side. That was my only way in.

Now, you're probably thinking: Keko-chan, why don't you just teleport in? Sadly, it does not work that way. I have what I liked to call, a teleport reserve and if I'd just teleported myself to this town I would still have plenty, but teleporting two other people wiped me clean out. I still—a little though, only cause I sucked at it—my telekinetic reserve which I'd probably have to use later.

So, the tree it was!

"Okay, you got this," I said to myself, staring up at the tree. Before leaving the hideout, I'd changed into something different from what I'd been wearing when we first arrived. I mean, walking around—and thus going on missions and shit—would have been pretty hard in a cat girl costume. But sadly, no Akatsuki cloak for me, just a pair of brown cargo pants, traditional ninja sandals, and a blue shirt. I did have fishnet glove/arm sleeve things, so that was pretty cool.

I was no athlete—I left that shit to Alice—and I hated physical exercise with a passion of a thousand burning suns, but I figured even I, lazy as fuck extraordinaire, could climb a tree.

Channeling what I liked to call my inner Naruto, I summoned an intense determination that could rival the blonde's and began to climb the tree. I got a third way up before my arms started to burn.

"Holy fuck," I panted, already out of breath. "This is hard." But surprisingly, I was dammed motivated to get into that fucking house. I normally gave up things half-way through, but I guess being in a fictional universe gave me something to aspire to.

Of course, that was until I stepped up onto a too weak branch and it snapped under my weight.

"Fuucckk!" I screamed as I fell straight to the ground.

I fell on my ass two more times before finally making it up completely. "My Jashin," I breathed, when I was finally up. "Maybe I should invest in PE more. Nah," I said, waving it away. "PE's for losers." The branch I was sitting on was the closest to the fence, and sliding down to the very edge, I took a deep breath, prayed to all the Anime gods out there that I wouldn't slip too soon and impale myself on the spiked fence spoke, and then took a flying leap off the branch. "AHHH!" I screeched out a battle cry as I flew safely over the fence.

I landed with a hard thud on my already sore ass, and I rolled around in the dirt for a moment, rubbing my bruised bum. Finally, once I heard footsteps approach, I jumped to my feet. There was a man walking toward me, his face twisted into a scowl.

"Oi! You there! What are you doing?" he shouted.

_Uh-oh. _"Time to make my escape!" Taking off at full speed—which in retrospect wasn't all that fast—I charged straight head at the guy. This, as I'd planned, freaked him out so that he dove out of the way as I got closer. "Haha, sucker! I wasn't actually going to run you over!" I called behind my shoulder as I ran.

He cursed loudly, and then I heard him begin to run after me. "Get back here, you little brat!"

_Little? I was not little! _I was an inch shorter than average, dammit!

I ran until I was out of breath—which didn't take very long—and then I threw the guy backward using my telekinetic power. Since I wasn't as well-trained in that, it took almost all I had, and so I threw myself through a side door of the house before he could stand back up.

"Phew. That was close," I said, breathing out a sigh of relief.

"Ahem!"

I glanced up. There was a group of tough-ass looking men sitting around a table. They were all staring at me like a cat that was on the hunt for a tasty mouse. And I was that mouse.

"Hehe…," I choked out nervously. "I'm just gonna….see ya!" I cleared the small table in one leap and ran for the door. The element of surprise stunned the men for all of three seconds, but it was enough for me to peel out into the hall.

I ran like my life depended on it—which it did—and didn't stop until I ran smack into someone. "Oh shit!" I yelled, bouncing back and slamming to the floor. "Ow."

"Keko-chan?"

I glanced up. Tobi was staring down at me, concerned—well, I assumed it was concern he was feeling behind the mask.

"Tobi! My savior!" I jumped up, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding on for dear life.

"What you'd do now?" I heard Deidara ask and looked behind Tobi to see him standing there, glaring daggers at me.

I let out a nervous laugh. "Well, you see…"

"Tobi will save Keko-chan!" Tobi announced suddenly, and before I could respond—or even breath—I was thrown over his shoulder. "Deidara-senpai, you take care of the rest!" And then he was off, speeding in the opposite direction of the men who'd been chasing me.

The hallway passed by me in a sickening blur, and between the motion sickness and the bouncing up and down on Tobi's shoulder, I felt highly nauseous.

"Dammit, Tobi, un!" I heard Deidara shout behind us—before the sounds of explosions erupted.

_Oh, why couldn't he have held me bridal style or something? I would have even accepted piggy-back! _

"Are you okay, Keko-chan?" Tobi asked me once we were outside and a good distance from the house.

"I will be when you put me down!" I said, kicking my feet in the air, careful not to hit him.

"Oh!" He set me down on my feet.

"Thank you. For saving me," I said, placing a hand against my racing heart.

"You're welcome, Keko-chan!"

Damn, he was so hyper. But then again, I guess that's why I liked him so much.

"Dammit, what the hell did you do, you little brat!?" Deidara shouted, stalking up to us. I guess he'd already finished off those guys. Damn, that was quick.

"Umm, well," I said, scratching the back of my head.

"Well?" he snarled, making me wince.

"Funny story…"

"Don't be mad at Keko-chan!" Tobi said, jumping in front of me and spreading his arms wide, as if to shield me or something. "She just wanted to help us. Besides, Deidara-senpai, you've been wanting to blow those guys up since we got there!"

"Ohh, Tobi!" I said, touched. "You're the best." I glomped him like any proud and loving fangirl.

"Uh, whatever! Let's just go already," Deidara snapped, and sauntered past us. "And shut up already!"

"Okay." I was still latched onto Tobi, but he didn't seem to mind; he cheerfully started forward, dragging me along in the process.

"Well, let's go already," the blonde said, impatiently looking at me.

"Huh?"

"Teleport us back to the hideout already, un."

"Oh, haha. Yeah, I can't," I mumbled hesitantly. "I used up all my reserve power."

"Whhhaattt?"

And that was how the three of us ended up stuck in an inn in Takeda Town for the night because _some _of us were too lazy to walk back, even though _some _of us could fly.

All in all, it wasn't a bad first mission.

_Hmm, I wonder how Alice and Sara are doing? _


	6. Chapter 6 This Brutal World

**A/N: Damn, this was hard to write. Getting Hidan right is difficult for some reason. Maybe I should just rewatch the episodes the Zombie twins are in...hmm, yeah, that might work. Anyway, Itachi and Kisame should finally be making an appearance next chapter. And I know this wasn't as funny as other ones, but Sara isn't as reckless as Keko and then I just couldn't think of anything...and we _are _getting more into the story and characters now, so there's that too. Though I'll still throw some ridiculousness in there, probably with Alice.**

**Anyhow: Read and Review; as always, enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but Sara, Keko, and Alice.**

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><p>CHAPTER SIX: AN INTRODUCTION TO THE BRUTAL REALITIES OF THIS WORLD<p>

Sara's P.O.V

"I'm really just surprised we haven't been killed and left on the side of the road somewhere yet," Alice said from beside me.

We were currently outside of the hideout, sitting under the shade of a big oak tree. While I would certainly rather be in the company of anyone other than her, she was still slightly less annoying than that dumbass Keko, and she was the only one around here in the same boat as me.

I snorted. "Why would _that _happen? We know too much."

The freaky cat girl just looked at me; and I wondered just why she still needed glasses even though she was now part cat or something. Didn't cats have really good vision?

"It's _because _we know too much," she explained, as if I were an idiot. I mean, sure, I didn't really think about it like that…but come on! I didn't really _care _how I was still alive, just that I was in the coolest universe in the world. 'Look," she sighed, pushing up her glasses. "This is like some weird ass fanfic, isn't it? I mean, we've been brought to the fucking world of _Naruto, _I've somehow been transformed into a _cat girl, _and we're still somehow all still alive. I wouldn't have been surprised if we had been dropped in Konoha or maybe even Suna, but the _Akatsuki? _Come on, the odds of us still being alive after telling them what we know? Not that high."

Okay, sure she did have a point but…. "Hey, _you _were the one who told them!" I said, smirking in triumph as she flushed bright red.

"Right…well, I didn't really know what else to do," she mumbled. "And I was still pretty much convinced I was dreaming or something."

"Well, we're not dead, Alice," I said, leaning back against the tree. "That must mean _something_. Maybe the universe is, I don't know, blessing us with the opportunity to..." I waved my hand in the air, trying to think of the right way to phrase this.

She sighed again. "I know, but still. It's weird, and I kind of just want to go home."

"I sure as fuck don't want to," I said, "and I doubt that moron does either."

"Keko's a freaking genius, Sara, you know that."

I scoffed, crossing my arms. "She sure as hell doesn't act like it."

That was the thing with Alice; I could hold a conversation with her that wouldn't end in a fight. Maybe it was because she was far less of an idiot than her best friend—who _may _have been a genius but was still annoying as fuck. Yeah, okay, I admitted it: Keko was smart, like freaky smart, but her attention deficit disorder kinda ruined it for the girl, and I only knew that because the three of us used to best friends. Keko's family and my family have known each other for generations—because both our sets of powers were hereditary, unlike Alice's where it skipped a generation or two each cycle—so we used to hang out and stuff. Before that purple-haired idiot, well, became the dumbass I know her to be today.

"It's the ADD," Alice deadpanned.

"So what do you propose we do?" I asked a minute later.

"Try not to get our asses killed."

"Great plan, oh-great-leader."

Her whole face flamed; I could have sworn her freaky cat ears blushed too. The girl was far too modest for her own being. "I still can't believe you're still calling me that," she muttered, shaking her head.

I shrugged. "You were our leader when we were in middle school, and you're probably still the only one with any sense around here."

"And you can't act this nice with Keko, because?"

"She's an idiot," I said simply.

Because we were now in the world of Anime, she was able to sweatdrop. Which was always…interesting to see, to be honest.

"Right…How's your roommate situation going?" she asked, her cat ears twitching as if she'd heard something.

I suppressed a shiver. _Damn, that's just creepy. _"Alright, I guess." Even though it really wasn't. I mean, I loved Hidan for his rude, arrogant bastard-like ways—guy was my favorite character after all—but…okay, I couldn't handle all the damn blood. The immortal did some freaky ritualistic thing every _damn day—_and he always made _me _clean it up! Since Tobi wasn't here, I couldn't make him do it. I may have been somewhat obsessed with the man, but that religion of his was just downright _freaky. _I honestly didn't know how long I was going to last.

"Really? Would have thought he'd try to sacrifice you by now," she mumbled, mostly to herself.

He had.

But thank the Anime gods for whatever supernatural force that allowed me to air bend. I probably _would_ have been dead by now if I hadn't been so good at controlling air. But I wasn't about to tell the creepy cat girl beside me that.

"I'm assuming all is well in the land of the blonde terrorists?" I asked, smirking when she rolled her eyes.

"Haha," she said. "Like I've argued before, he's rather calm when not dealing with obnoxious people like how Tobi can be."

"And Keko. Bet she's giving him hell right now."

She shrugged.

"She's the lucky one, getting to go out on a real mission," I said.

"I'm sure you'll get your chance before me, Sara."

"Why's that?"

In response she pointed to her cat ears. "Might be a bit hard to hide this, you know."

I nodded. Good point. "But, wouldn't your powers be a pretty great help?"

"I see dead people, Sara. Not that helpful."

"The super speed thing?"

"Well, at least now I'm pretty sure it's because I was secretly born a cat girl," she said.

"Gods, I hope not." That time I actually _did _shiver, because, yes, that was how far my hatred of cats went.

She frowned. "Me too. I can do other…things now. It's weird."

"Like what?"

"Basically, my senses are freakishly heightened, and I was athletic before but now…well, now I can do things I thought were only possible in Anime. And yeah, I know we're _in _one now, but that's not what I mean."

I nodded in understanding, though I wasn't entirely sure what she meant.

"Oi! Blondie! Get up off your ass; Leader says we got a mission!"

My head snapped up at the voice, and before I knew it I was obeying. "Coming," I called cheerfully, my fangirl side rearing its ugly head. Though in my case, I was far from being ugly.

"Good luck," whispered Alice as I headed toward Hidan. And it was the way she said it kind of freaked me out, I'm not gonna lie.

_Ugh. Damn cat girl._

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><p>Hidan, as we headed out, explained to me all about Jashinism. And I do mean <em>all of it.<em>

As he went on about how 'beautiful it is to watch the life leave someone's eyes' I was starting to believe that this was probably the biggest mistake of my life.

_Oh, why, or why did I have to say anything to him about wanting to know more about this? _I mean, yes, I wanted to get closer to the man of my dreams, but damn! There was only so much I could handle.

"And so you _have _to sacrifice _several _pints of blood every day?" I squeaked. I mean, sure, in some aspects his religion was interesting…only in an educational kind of way. Like how learning about the Mayan's brutal sacrificial religion was. But as in actual practice? Uh, how about no? Murder was one thing, but self-inflecting pain was another thing entirely.

"Were you not listening to a word I just said, you bitch!?"

I cringed—but only slightly—and then the side of me that could easily handle Keko's dumbass-ary came forth. Screw fangirl-ism apparently.

"Well, _sorry. _I couldn't hear over your pathetic fanboy gushing," I snapped. Maybe I had a temper that got in the way of even true love—so what? I'd make it up to him later; just not in self-inducing torture.

"Do you wanna fucking die?!"

"You're religion's fascinating sure—but what kind of emo-piss baby cuts himself like that? Go sit in the emo corner, ya weirdo!"

"What did you say to me, you bitch?!"

"You heard me, you religious freak!"

Okay, so maybe the temper thing _was _a probably. And maybe in retrospect I should have realized that cussing out an immortal s-class criminal _probably _wasn't the smartest thing to do. But what we _both _hadn't realized was the _other _immortal Akatsuki member.

Black threads shot came out of nowhere—at least nowhere that I was able to see—and wound their way around my neck. I saw the same threads choking the life out of Hidan, much to his displeasure.

"Oi! Knock it off, you money grubbing stitch freak!" he protested, yanking at the threads.

I myself was lifted off my feet, and was struggling to breath as I dangled a few feet from the ground.

"If you two do not stop, I'll chop _you," _this he directed at Hidan, "into little pieces and use them as a dog's personal chew toy. And you," he warned coldly, glancing at me, "I'll sell your body on the black market."

All I could do was nod silently—and then I feel with a thump to the hard ground, where I sat, trying to catch my breath.

_Holy fucking shit. I just nearly escape death!_

I heard Hidan cursing loudly, but all I could concentrate on were my own ragged breathing. _Maybe I should listen to Alice more often._


End file.
